Today was special for me because even though Beckham was sick with the flu which made us have to leave church in a hurry, leaving a trail of throw up down the hall way and many more puking episodes once we got home. It was special because through all of that, Jeremy, Beckham and I shared laughs, snuggles and sweet moments all throughout the day! I am so grateful for the humor that sometimes buffers those harder moments in life! It was a quiet day, spent mostly in the living room with movies, blankets, snacks (for Jeremy and I) and a throw up bowl for Beckham. We snuggled and enjoyed our sleepy babe who was so lethargic yet tender and affectionate in his brief moments of wakefulness. It was almost like having a newborn, which reminded me that in a few short months it will no longer be just Beckham anymore. The bond and experiences you journey through with your first child are so special. Of course I don't know what the journey with my second child will be like but there's something special about just the three of us and a lot of times just the two of us :-)
To Beckham: As I gear up emotionally for the entrance of our second son, your brother, into our family it breaks my heart a little to think that the wee hours of the morning will no longer be spent having special "Mommy & Beckham" time. With you laying across my chest with your face nuzzled in my neck as you fall back to sleep for a few more minutes. I will miss giving you all of my attention. Although we will all be overjoyed to meet your brother, I am sad that this heart of mine which is so spilling over with love and admiration for you will have to share that love with another sweet soul. It's bittersweet.
Things I want to remember about YOU, my Beckham right now (15 mos, 3 weeks):
Your adorable bow-legged little man walk!
Your chubby little naked body.
All your sweet little sign language talk.
How you are so 'matter of fact' in all your little actions and expressions.
The way you solo dance, you hold your arms like you're ballroom dancing with a girl, while bending your legs and bouncing up and down.
The way you sing, "da-da-da, ya-ya-ya"
How you say "IIII CHEE!!!" and have for quite some time and I have no idea what it means, I'm convinced you made it up!
Your aggressive love for our cat, Poppy.
Your kisses, you always hum as you lean in for a smooch and you LOVE Eskimo kisses!
The way you spontaneously grab my face with both hands like you're having a love attack and you scream "AHHHHHHHH" with wide eyes and a big smile on your face then you bury your head in my neck.
How you sit down in a quiet place with a book (without any instruction from me) and sit content babbling and pointing at the pictures.
The way you are so excited to help me with any task! Throwing away your diapers and helping in the garden are your favorites right now! You work by my side with your mini shovel and carefully spoon the dirt from one garden bed to another with your hands..you help me weed out the rocks from the soil.
Every time we walk by the picture of Jesus in our house you say "Jss-sss" and whenever you see the temple pictures in our home you sing "ya-ya-ya" because you love the primary song "I love to see the temple"
I love the way you clap, innocently pick your nose, fall to sleep and your amazing expressions.
And a person hasn't lived until they've seen you lift up your arms and flex so hard your face turns red showing us how strong you are!
You are an amazing little boy and I am blessed to be your mom! I always thought motherhood was my calling but now I know it was not just motherhood, but being YOUR mother is what I've always been meant for. Thank You for such a wonderful wonderful gift, I Love You!
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