Beckham's Birth Story

A Birth Story

Beckham Eugene Foreman

I woke up on the morning of January the 20^th, I was now six days over due and decided “Okay…I’m giving up…this baby will come when he wants to and I’m not wasting any more time or energy trying to make labor start. I‘m going to get out of the house and distract myself!”

There must be something about that approach that works! Because at 3:45 that afternoon at Applebee’s my water began to leak. I wasn’t sure at first, so my mom and I ordered our food but by the time our food was brought out to us we were saying “Umm…can we have to-go boxes for everything please?” The waitress shouted “WE NEED SOME TO-GO BOXES OVER HERE, SHE’S IN LABOR!” I was so embarrassed!

My doctor, Jani Rollins, told me to come to her office right away. So we hopped in my mom’s car, thank goodness for leather seats because by the time we arrived, my pants were thoroughly soaked. I went inside and Jani felt the baby’s position and she told me to go home and wait for contractions to start. She said that once they were four minutes apart consistently for an hour to call her and then go to the hospital.

So at 1:30 AM we called Jani and we were off to the hospital to meet our son!

We arrived at the hospital and were set up in room 216, Leslie was the name of our first nurse while we were there. I got changed into a hospital gown and Leslie took my blood pressure and she checked how Beckham’s heart beat was and she set up the contraction monitor. I was so disappointed because right when we got to the hospital my contractions slowed WAY down! They were now as much as fifteen minutes apart and were decreasing in strength. I was a bit discouraged because I was already so tired and I knew I had a long ways to go still. So we just had to wait for the contractions to pick up. Jeremy stayed up with me for a little while but it was important that at least he get some rest while he could. So while Jeremy slept I sat in a rocking chair and rocked the night away and waited.

Nothing happened.

I woke Jeremy up at seven o’clock that morning because I was SO bored and lonely and to be honest I was feeling a little resentful that he had such a restful night and while I stayed up all night having contractions that weren’t strong enough to move a baby but hurt enough that I didn’t get a wink of sleep! So we tried walking around the Birth Center to see if that would make my contractions stronger, but that didn’t work.

By that time I had a new nurse, her name was Kemberly, “Kem” for short. She was one of my favorite nurses! She came into my room at about seven thirty that morning and told us that we might need to prepare ourselves because my doctor would probably want to get me started on a Pitocen drip (a drug used to induce or augment labor) to get things moving along. When your water breaks before giving birth, doctors typically want you to give birth within the following twenty four hours. If you go over twenty four hours you are at a higher risk for infection.

Jani arrived at the hospital at about eight thirty and she said exactly that. She recommended I have the Pitocen to get things going. I wanted to cry! I wanted a %100 natural birth and being the control freak that I am this really upset me. All the confidence that I had before then was gone because I felt that things were getting out of my control! Pitocen is also known to make your contractions much more painful, more so than if you had a natural labor. I was scared because I really didn’t want to get an epidural (a drug used to numb you from the waist down). Birth has always been very fascinating to me! From the time I was fifteen I knew I wanted a natural birth. In my eye’s it’s a ‘right of passage’ kind of experience. I think going through that kind of pain to meet your baby is an incredible bonding opportunity. So I was angry because I knew that Pitocen was going to make not getting the Epidural a hard thing not to do. After discussing it thoroughly with Jeremy and Jani we decided that starting the Pitocen was the safest thing for me and the baby. So I had to put away my controlling side and embrace the unexpected.

At this point I was feeling like I wanted some extra support so we requested for one of the hospital Doulas to come. I also called my sister, I wanted someone to chat with during the easier part of labor and get my mind off things.

After we ordered some breakfast my nurse, Kem, came to start the Pitocen drip. They use a really big needle because they have to feed a catheter into your vein so I didn’t look the entire time! It wasn’t so bad it was like a bee sting. But after it was in it freaked me out a little, I hated having something in my vein constantly. It made me not want to move that hand at all. I asked Kem if I would have to have the Pitocen the whole time and she said that it depends on how my body reacts to it. If my contractions were coming too fast and too strong that they would lower my dosage or stop the Pitocen altogether. That encouraged me a little.

After getting the I.V. set up I got down from the bed and immediately got onto the birthing ball, it’s supposed to help move the baby downward. About twenty minutes after they started the Pitocen the Doula arrived, her name was Shauna. She sat down with me right away and looked me straight in the eyes and she made me feel completely comfortable about the coming experience, we totally connected. She asked me questions about my thoughts on birth and how I hoped my birth would go and about any fears I had. She suggested that with each contraction I picture body my opening like a flower and that I visualize Beckham traveling further down the birth canal. I loved Shauna right away! She came in and took control of the atmosphere from the start and made me feel very in control and safe. I felt like there was someone there that understood what I was feeling, and I felt the whole time like she was looking out for my best interest.

I decided I wanted to get up and walk a little because I wanted my contractions to pick up and I knew I didn’t want to have very much Pitocen. So we started walking, we walked the loop around the birth center over and over again. I walked for probably three hours of my labor! We walked really slowly down the halls and when I would have a contraction I would stop, close my eyes, and sway in kind of a slow dance. Jeremy would massage my lower back with his fist to soothe the back labor, he was so present with me and supportive. Shauna kept reminding me not to fear the pain, but to use it as fuel for my labor. She kept saying “Go there Rylee, go to that place and allow that pain to open you up” I loved it! I felt so relaxed. McKynzie held my jell-o and water so that I could drink and eat when I wanted to. As my contractions started to get more intense I would make a humming sound during a contraction. Sometimes I would walk through a contraction and that was nice too. I just felt so in control and empowered. Looking back I think that the Pitocen was good for me personally because every fifteen minutes the drip feeder thing would give me more Pitocen. I think for me, it helped me to mentally prepare myself every time I heard that beep noise I knew I was getting more Pitocen and I knew that the contractions were going to get worse.

One of the ways I can describe it, the whole experience was a kind of dance...things just sort of ebbed and flowed. I would have a few progressively more painful contractions and then the pain would lessen for a couple and that went back and forth for a while. Even though I was in pain, I felt so serene and empowered…It was kind of peaceful actually.

Jeremy was such a trooper, he was getting so hungry and eventually had to eat something, so he finally went and got some food from the cafeteria. I had a couple contractions without him and then one of them hit me like a ton of bricks, it was by far the most painful one of them yet and I cried out for Jeremy and he came rushing back to me from our room. Shauna told me that I was probably going into transition, so I went back into the hospital room and got up onto the bed, which was hard to do when youre in so much pain. Kem came in and measured my cervix, and I was at a seven! I got up and slowly made my way out of the room and it was all I could do to just lean over something when I had a contraction! It was overwhelmingly painful. Shauna suggested that I get into the shower to ease some of the pain. So Jeremy got the shower running and I got in and it helped a little, there was a chair in there so I leaned over it and rocked my hips back and forth while Jeremy sprayed my back with the shower hose. At this point I was really in a different place, I had to get into “the zone” to deal with the pain. I remember I made a noise something like an Indian chant song, lol that’s the best way I can describe it! Shauna was going to leave the shower room and I asked her to stay, things were moving so fast at that point and I wanted someone there who knew what I was going through. It’s hard to recall exactly what the pain felt like, but it was far beyond what I had experienced in labor up to that point. While I was in the shower my nurse, Kem, filled up the birthing tub. I think I was in the shower for about fifteen minutes total. I got into the tub, and it was so relaxing. It was still painful but it helped to be in warm water and to feel more weightless. In the tub the pain of my contractions lessened and I made more of a humming noise when it hurt. At this point I was so exhausted, I had been up for over twenty four hours. I hardly ever opened my eyes, and when I did my vision was so unfocused. It actually took real effort to look someone in the eyes. I spent a lot of my time in the tub leaning over the edge with my arms folded. That way my belly could just hang down. In this position my knees kept slipping further away out from under me and It took so much effort to pull them back in.

At 2:55 Pm my third nurse, Kimberly, checked my cervix and I was complete! She told me that on the next contraction I could push. I was so calm and quiet, I felt like I was half asleep so it took me a while to kind of get back into gear and wake up so I could push effectively. I pushed for a total of two hours, but for about the first hour my pushes were making very little progress. Pushing felt almost like throwing up. When you throw up your muscles do all the work, you cant stop it once It starts. I felt the same way when I started pushing, you start to push and then your body wont stop until the end of the contraction.

At one point Jani told me to feel Beckham’s head while I pushed so that I could feel what was working. I tried pushing in so many different positions in the tub: on my hands and knees, squating, on the birthing stool (Which I hated!!!) they had me try standing with one leg up on the side of the tub. I was trying hard (I thought) but wasn’t making very much progress. At one point I told my audience in an exhausted voice, “I cant believe I’m doing it naturally!” Everyone laughed a little, I knew it was funny too but I couldn’t laugh. But it was true! Up until that point I had always wanted a natural birth but didn’t know, and realistically doubted if I would be able to! Once I went into transition I remember thinking… “this is it, beyond this point there are no epidurals” and I also remember thinking once transition had started and the crazy pain came “now THIS is why women request medication!”. But I didn’t, and I am so proud of myself for over coming that physical pain and the mental barrier you have to cross to get through that pain. Now, if you are reading this and thinking that I respect you less for getting medication you are very wrong. I believe that everyone’s Birth Experience is their own and it is amazing and makes you grow no matter how you get that baby out!

Now back to where I left off: I consciously decided that I needed to stop acting like I was taking a bath and needed to start giving it all I had when I pushed! A lot of people had told me that “its more pressure than pain” I definitely felt that here. A contraction would come and I would push and it feels like your bum is going to fall off!!! At that point things started moving a bit faster and for some reason my Dr and Nurses and the Doula all suggested that I get out of the tub to “wake up”. I got out of the tub which was the most awkward thing when you have a baby in the birth canal and with a lot of help made my way to the bed in the room and turned around to sit down and asked “how can I sit when he is right there!?” and my Nurse, Kem, told me to just throw my head back. The combination of cold air and the action in the room really woke me up and got me into gear. It all happened pretty fast from my perspective at that point, someone held my legs and I recall my Dr telling me, “Okay Rylee, I’m going to help you out a little” Jeremy said she poured some kind of oil on me and that during the next push Beckham shot forward!!! At the end of that contraction they all told me to stop and take a breath but I just kept pushing because I was ready to get him out!

Before my next contraction they told me to reach down and feel Beckham’s head so I could see how close I was…I didn’t really want to because I was in the ZONE! But Jeremy said, “no honey, seriously, you’re so close, feel” So I finally did and Jeremy said the look on my face was hilarious, my eyes almost popped out of my head! Everyone laughed and the Nurse said “they all do that!”

Jani (my doctor) told me “okay on the next push I want you to push and then stop when I say so I can ease him out” So I gave it a good push, and then his head was out and oh my goodness it was such a relief! Then I pushed his shoulders out, which was a breeze and then……..they laid him on my chest and I got to look into my baby’s eyes for the very first time! I just kept saying “oh my baby, you did such a good job, you did so good, you did it” And for some reason I told Jeremy and my sister that they did a good job too haha!

Getting to know Beckham’s spirit for nine months inside me I had always felt, and noted in my journal, that he was such a strong, steady spirit. And he was! And is! He was in the birth canal for two hours and his heart rate never changed and he never went into distress! He did it! I did it! And I felt more accomplished and beautiful and empowered than I ever have in my life!

I was so exhausted but so mesmerized by my son, after the initial cries to clear his lungs he was so peaceful and content just taking in the world around him with eyes wide open!

Now, lets fast forward through birthing the placenta and getting one stitch (thank my lucky stars I didn’t get more).

After two hours of gazing at my beautiful newborn son, resting, nursing and getting cleaned up we invited Beckham’s many family members to come in and meet him! How wonderful to be welcomed into this world with so much love! Jeremy held him for the first time which was so sweet! After an hour of visiting we got moved back into our initial room and I ordered turkey and potatoes with gravy!!! Haha! We pushed together the two hospital beds and enjoyed our first night snuggling with our son, trying to sleep through the amazement and excitement and hospital beeps and nurse check ups. I love these memories!

All in all, it was a beautiful experience, unlike any other! I grew so much! It was really a pivotal moment in my life, learning what my body and mind are capable of and over coming something that I had anticipated with fear and excitement for nine months!

I have heard many horror birth stories and I feel blessed to have had such a calm and peaceful birth. I might sound crazy but for me the pain wasn’t as bad as many women told me it would be…it still hurt!!! I just expected to be rolling on the floor and wanting to turn myself inside out. Jeremy nick named me his “warrior poet” afterwards….whatever that means haha!

I am honestly excited to give birth again, still nervous of course, because anything could happen. But I only get to do this a handful of times during my short time on earth. Pregnancy and birth were such powerful experiences for me. I’m excited to grow ripe with another baby in my belly and to settle somewhere in-between heaven and earth for a brief moment and to finally meet another one of my children!