Tuesday, January 22, 2013

A New Year & New beginnings!

Okay, I've finally found a moment to update here...SO much has happened since the New Year! We have moved into our new home that we bought, a little scary, a bit over whelming but overall very exciting for us to get out of our 900 sq ft, one bedroom apartment. I will admit, I miss our apartment dearly sometimes! So many sweet memories were made there, bringing home our first child to that apartment and all the experiences we've had with him thus far have been there in that little home! Needless to say, I balled as Jeremy and I held hands and walked through our first home one last time and said goodbye. I actually think I said "Goodbye, I love you" while my awesome husband said something like "Good reddens ya sardine can!".  Funny thing is, four months after we moved into that apartment I told Jeremy, "okay we are only going to live here for a year TOPS because it is way too small for us and I have no space to put anything!!!" I hated it at first, but we ended up there for two years and I slowly made a bond I suppose.

Our new place is a lovely three bedroom, two bath, 1338 sq ft home, one level with a great front and back yard. The biggest most beautiful tree on the block is in our front yard and I envision hanging a tire swing and my kids climbing and playing and making memories. I haven't fallen in love with the neighborhood yet, we have been quiet hermits and haven't introduced ourselves to our neighbors. BUT on our first stroller adventure Beckham and I discovered a neat little alley way at the corner of our circle that leads into a huge open field great for Frisbee or football with paved pathways for a bike or stroller. It's basically the back yard to the Elementary schools field so the play ground is there too. It's enclosed, but we may have to figure something out ;-). I think having that alley way there is my favorite thing about the neighborhood so far.
I still haven't painted the house and I'm still waiting for it to smell like us but we are slowly making this our home!

Yesterday on the twenty first was our little boy's first birthday! Beckham Eugene is One Year OLD! I really cant believe how fast the time goes by when those little ones finally arrive! My pregnancy seemed so long, and our first year with baby went by in a flash! This morning at five AM after trying to put B back to bed with a bottle (Yes he is weaned and we managed to do so somewhat gracefully) after the bottle he still wouldn't go back to bed so I brought him to bed with us. It was so cute, he laid still with his head on my pillow for twenty minutes and talked gibberish to us while we trying to squeeze in a few more minutes of sleep! Finally his blessed dad got up and rocked him back to sleep and he's currently snuggled up in our bed. He gives me warm fuzzies inside!

And finally, I am a tad reluctant to announce that we are pregnant with our second baby! I am only four or five weeks...I think...I honestly have no idea because I've only had one period since Beckham was born and that was three months ago so a trip to the doctor is in our future, a few times over I think :-) We were trying to keep it a secret until I was further along but we told our family and then SOMEHOW the word got out! I wonder how that happened...that's okay we are totally thrilled. Even with the nausea and drastic mood swings I am on cloud nine and Jeremy is beside himself with excitement! He is very much hoping for a girl! I had a dream it was a girl, but I've always always thought that I would have two boys and then a girl followed by another boy. We'll see...
So...life has been nothing short of exciting and exhausting lately! I am discovering that I need to lower my expectations of myself. I cant grow a human being, watch my two day care kids for nine hours a day plus my son (which entails a lot to say the least) while managing to get the laundry and the dishes clean, make dinner, keep house tidy, decorate our stark house and at the end of the day NOT want to pull my hair out, verbally abuse my husband and crawl into a dark and quiet place.
So last night I lit a candle, took a bath, got out my journal and decided I am ready for some transformation. I need to shed some of this dark angry energy and reduce my expectations of what I 'should' get done each day. I had a very thoughtful evening and decided I need to go back to simplicity, whatever that means, and however I get there I am taking that road! The house might not be spotless at the end of the day and Beckham might be in his pajamas until two pm but at least I will have my sanity and a smile...most days. I'm also going to try my darnedest to fit in some me time. Read a book, leave B with Jeremy in the living room for an hour while I go to our room and journal, Take myself to a palates class at the church where the kids can run around in the gym supervised. Whenever I have a melt down in life I try to break everything down and look at some basics. 1. Am I getting any me time? 2. Am I getting outside enough? 3. Am I getting enough rest and eating right? 4. Am I connecting with other people that aren't children? 5. Am I connecting with God?  For me these are some of the MOST important things! Happy momma & wife, happy family & life! More than a pretty house or nice hair and makeup, I need to maintain a happy life.
Thanks for reading my novel, now for some pictures!

Our baby boy right after he was born!

Our baby boy on his One Year Birthday!




The sign of another baby to come :-)